In the first half, Kyle tells Erika and Dorit about her recent arguments with Sutton. And she’s decided to frame Sutton as an alcoholic. Dorit agrees Sutton may have a problem. But Crystal, who’s suddenly very feisty, calls BS on their smear campaign in her confessional. Meanwhile, Erika meets with her new manager, Alexis, to discuss how to rebuild her music career. (I had to laugh when she told Erika she was once “on top of the world,” referring to stint as Roxie Hart in Chicago.) In another scene, Dorit goes over to Sutton’s house to help her look at potential suitors provided by a matchmaker, which was just as compelling as you would expect.
Meanwhile, Garcelle is still trying to squeeze some familial trauma out of her perfectly polite and well-adjusted twin boys. I’m not sure how many more scenes I can watch of Garcelle crying about her mommy guilt, as valid as those feelings might be. We just don’t have any evidence that she’s a bad mom! And it’s not like her twins are acting out. Meanwhile, her eldest son Oliver made a complete ass out of himself on Vanderpump Rules last season, and she’s not willing to get in that. He’s the one she should be having all of these heart-to-hearts with.
Likewise, she and Jax rehash her ex-husband Michael’s cheating. And Jax reveals that he knew about this infidelity since he was 8, thanks to a leaked email Garcelle sent to CAA about it. Garcelle is devastated to hear that Jax knew about it earlier than she thought. Jax assures her that he’s not angry about it. At this moment, I wanted to jump through my computer, grab Garcelle by the shoulders, and say “You’re a good mom! Your kids are perfect!!”
Then we meet Kyle’s new bestie (possibly crush) Morgan Wade when they get some new ink. For weeks, the promise of Wade, with her nasally drawl, saying “she stalked me,” has haunted our ears. And now we finally get to see the country singer and Kyle converse in what seems to be a place they visit pretty often together.
Kyle explains that she stumbled upon Morgan’s music and instantly became a fan. So she followed her on Instagram and posted one of her songs, which got Morgan’s attention. Ever since, they’ve been bosom buddies (or rumored lovers, according to TikTok and Reddit.) Kyle claims they connected over their sober and fitness-heavy lifestyles. Although, she says that Morgan’s been sober for six years, which makes it seems like Kyle stopped drinking for her and not like they already had that in common. I would assume the same goes with Kyle’s constant working out and obviously the tattoos. If she’s not in love with Morgan, as the internet has decided, she very much wants to be her.
So Kyle gets another one of her Ocean City boardwalk tattoos, this time a planet and a few stars on her lower abdomen. She also tattoos a circle onto Morgan and has never looked so happy. When she comes home, she shows Maurico, who’s clearly tired of this rebellious-teenager phase. He says he hopes he’ll be able to see her tattoo, implying that they aren’t having sex. And Kyle just gives him a shrug.